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Showing posts with label For Laughter Jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label For Laughter Jokes. Show all posts

Sunday, April 11, 2010

Nestle Crunch Hotline - Menus



Well, here are the menus for the Nestle Crunch Hotline. Do read my previous post here!




Thanks for calling Nestle Crunch. The taste you already have is now even more scrumptious. With even richier milk chocolate taste and crispier crispies, nothing brings out the kid in you like new Nestle Crunch. Find the new even more scrumptious Nestle Crunch at the selected stores now or become a fan at Facebook.com/NestleCrunch.

For English, press or say 1.

(...Spanish...)

For Nutrition information on our chocolate treats, press or say 3.
For a knock-knock joke and other funner options, press or say 4.
To speak with our representative at any time, press 0 or say representative.
Your call may be monitored or recorded.

Please listen carefully as our funner menu options have changed. To hear a knock-knock joke, press or say 1.

(1 is pressed)

You have selected knock-knock joke.
Knock-knock!
Who's there?
Hu.
Who who?
Don't get so excited, it's just a joke!
Knock-knock!
Who's there?
This is.
This is who?
This is the police. Open up.

To repeat this message, press pound or say repeat.

To return to the previous menu, press 9.

(9 is pressed)

Please listen carefully as our funner menu options have changed.
To hear a knock-knock joke, press or say 1. To listen to a backyard game of catch, press or say 2.

(2 is pressed)

You have selected backyard game of catch.

(the backyard game of catch is played)

To repeat this message, press pound or say repeat.

(9 is pressed)

Please listen carefully as our funner menu options have changed.

To hear a knock-knock joke, press or say 1. To listen to a backyard game of catch, press or say 2. For bubble-wrap, press or say 3.

(3 is pressed)

You have selected bubble-wrap.

(bubble-wrap is played)

To repeat this message, press pound or say repeat. To return to the previous menu, press 9 or say previous menu.

(9 is pressed)

Please listen carefully as our funner menu options have changed.

To hear a knock-knock joke, press or say 1. To listen to a backyard game of catch, press or say 2. For bubble-wrap, press or say 3. For a cannon ball of the diving board, press or say 4.

(4 is pressed)

You have selected cannon ball!

(Sound of water splashing)

To repeat this message, press pound or say repeat. To return to the previous menu, press 9 or say previous menu.

(9 is pressed)

Please listen carefully as our funner menu options have changed.

To hear a knock-knock joke, press or say 1. To listen to a backyard game of catch, press or say 2. For bubble-wrap, press or say 3. For a cannon ball of the diving board, press or say 4. To hear me give a nuking to the operator next to me, press or say 5.

(5 is pressed)

You have selected nuking.

Hey Dave, Dave, come here!
Yeah, what's up?
Nuking time!
Ahh! Ahh! What are you doing? Ahh!
All right! I quit!

To repeat this message, press pound or say repeat. To return to the previous menu, press 9 or say previous menu.

(9 is pressed)

Please listen carefully as our funner menu options have changed.

To hear a knock-knock joke, press or say 1. To listen to a backyard game of catch, press or say 2. For bubble-wrap, press or say 3. For a cannon ball of the diving board, press or say 4. To hear me give a nuking to the operator next to me, press or say 5. To hear a boy express his affection to a girl he likes, press or say 6.

(6 is pressed)

You have selected boy expressing his affection to a girl he likes.

Hey Maureen, what is this? 
(Frog croacking)
(Girl Screams)
Yhew!

To repeat this message, press pound or say repeat. To return to the previous menu, press 9 or say previous menu.

(9 is pressed)

Please listen carefully as our funner menu options have changed.

To hear a knock-knock joke, press or say 1. To listen to a backyard game of catch, press or say 2. For bubble-wrap, press or say 3. For a cannon ball of the diving board, press or say 4. To hear me give a nuking to the operator next to me, press or say 5. To hear a boy express his affection to a girl he likes, press or say 6. For information about cooties, press or say 7.

(7 is pressed)

You have selected cooties.

Cooties come in 2 strains, girl cooties and boy cooties. To prevent contracting cooties, avoid the opposite sex. If you have been in contact with the opposite sex, get treatment immediately. Girls can spin in a circle and scream "No Cooties, no cooties" until the cooties fly off. For boys, a cootie shot is usually necessary in the form of a punch in the shoulder from a trusted friend. If however you contracted full-blown cooties, the only way to get rid of them is by staging a battle between your action toys and the action toys or dolls of the person who gave the cooties to you. Or by carrying 3 letter tails and the baseball cards in your backpack for 4 days.
Be warned, cootie catches are not fool-proof and have not been shown to be effective.


To repeat this message, press pound or say repeat. To return to the previous menu, press 9 or say previous menu.

(9 is pressed)

Please listen carefully as our funner menu options have changed.

To hear a knock-knock joke, press or say 1. To listen to a backyard game of catch, press or say 2. For bubble-wrap, press or say 3. For a cannon ball of the diving board, press or say 4. To hear me give a nuking to the operator next to me, press or say 5. To hear a boy express his affection to a girl he likes, press or say 6. For information about cooties, press or say 7.

...


(Stopping here because it is getting too lengthy and not fun any more ;p)


Thursday, April 8, 2010

Nestle Crunch Hotline



BL posted in her Facebook about this hilarious set of recordings. Yes, it is at the Nestle Crunch Hotline (1-800-295-0051)


Seems that the marketing gimmick has taken a notch too funny ;p


There is a youtube video too (Link is here).


Several people have tried the line and seems that the hotline is quite busy at times (Isn't why it is call a hotline?)


So you may get to hear an ad for a Nestle Crunch bar and then the fun starts!


The lady at the other end of the phone (mind you, it's all automated) asks if you want to continue in English or Spanish. If you remain silence you will hear the available menus... Wait out for the Option 4 and you can get your moment of truth ;p


This marketing involves forthekidinyou.com which links you to the official nestlecrunch.com playground site. Seven games are available (Pinata Smash, Pinat-A-Gram, Squirting Gallery, PUzzle-Izer, Dunking Booth, Hi-Jinks, Bowl-A-Rama). It is also linked up with Facebook as well.


Check them out!















































































































































*Lynspirations
Good spin on the marketing, Nestle!

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Farmville - April's Fool Joke



Didn't realise Farmville has the same taste as me... Jokes!

:p


There is the Toilet Paper Roll that appears on my top left hand corner that says that
It's April 1st! Want to help 'decorate' your friend's barn? Go ahead and visit them, then click the toilet paper roll!


So I went to my good neighbor Feng's Farm for the prank. I clicked the  sign that appears on the bottom left hand corner of her farm and got this message to click on her Barn.



This is what I saw: the Toilet Paper Roll Icon replaces the mouse cursor and the Barn is outlined in red.


Once I hovered my cursor, erm theToilet Paper Roll, the Barn, the Barn is outlined in yellow.


Woala!



Isn't it funny ;p

I once saw this prank happened on a car... and the car was mummified! Imagine the owner's face!

Anyways, the notice appears once the joke is played:
Great joke! Do you want to tell your friends about how you pranked Feng?


There is only 1 Toilet Paper Roll for me. I think this is sad. There should be more toilet rolls to go around! ;p



*Lynspirations
Joke's on you!


For laughter jokes - Starbucks



A friend sent me this and I thought it is a good joke for today... Hope this did not happen to you!


I was in Starbucks yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to fart. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my farts with the beat. After a couple of songs,  I started to feel better.

I finished my Latte and then noticed that everybody was staring at me. Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod. 


*Lynspirations
Never fart in public, no matter what!

Monday, February 15, 2010

Joke: Woman Mechanic



Saw this from a website - why woman cannot be a mechanic. (scroll down)

























































*Lynspirations
A joke a day, makes your life happier.

Saturday, January 2, 2010

For laughter jokes - 10 Funny Jokes About New Year's Resolutions

These jokes are from Reader's Digest (source):


Spending more time with family:
Families are complicated enough, but things became even more confusing after my father decided to get married to my brother's mother-in-law. "Now I can't make up my mind whether he's my dad or my father-in- law," says my brother, "or if my mother-in-law is now my stepmother, or whether my child is my daughter or my niece." -- Oscar Reagan

Getting in shape:
A friend of mine had resisted efforts to get him to run with our jogging group until his doctor told him he had to exercise. Soon thereafter, he reluctantly joined us for our 5:30 a.m. jogs on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays.

After a month of running, we decided that my friend might be hooked, especially when he said he had discovered what "runner's euphoria" was. "Runner's euphoria," he explained, "is what I feel at 5:30 on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays." -- Neil P. Budge

Starting that diet:
My friend Kimberly announced that she had started a diet to lose some pounds she had put on recently.

"Good!" I exclaimed. "I'm ready to start a diet too. We can be dieting buddies and help each other out. When I feel the urge to drive out and get a burger and fries, I'll call you first."

"Great!" she replied. "I'll ride with you." -- Katina Fisher

Quitting smoking
:
I discussed peer pressure and cigarettes with my 12-year-old daughter. Having struggled for years to quit, I described how I had started smoking to "be cool."

As I outlined the arguments kids might make to tempt her to try it, she stopped me mid-lecture, saying, "Hey, I'll just tell them my mom smokes. How cool can it be?" -- Judi Moore

Eating healthier:
The teacher in our Bible class asked a woman to read from the Book of Numbers about the Israelites wandering in the desert. "The Lord heard you when you wailed, 'If only we had meat to eat!' " she began. "Now the Lord will give you meat. You will not eat it for just one day, or two days, or five, or ten or twenty days, but for a month—until you loathe it."

When the woman finished, she paused, looked up, and said, "Hey, isn't that the Atkins diet?"  -- David Martino

Reducing your debt
:
Neighbors of ours had a terrible disagreement over a patio they wanted for their backyard. The wife had rather grand ideas, while the husband wanted costs kept to a minimum. The wife won out, and the construction bill climbed higher and higher.

I dropped by one day, when the patio was near completion, and was surprised to find the husband smiling from ear to ear as the workmen smoothed over the surface. I remarked how nice it was to see a grin replace the frown he had been wearing lately.

“You see where they’re smoothing that cement?” he replied. “I just threw my wife’s credit cards in there.” -- R. Horn

Learning new things
:
I was trying to decide what to do for a talent show I planned to enter. Trusting my mother to help me out, I asked, "For the show, what do you think I should do, sing or put on a comedy act?"

Glancing up from her paper, she said dryly, "What's the difference?" -- Kimmie Helk

Better teeth care:
Just because one owns a business doesn't mean it has to be all business. This sign in a dentist's office proves that point: "Be True to Your Teeth, or They Will Be False to You." -- James Wertz

Becoming more organized:
My friend’s husband is always telling her that housekeeping would be a snap if only she would organize her time better. Recently he had a chance to put his theory into practice while his wife was away.

When I popped in one evening to see how he was managing, he crowed, "I made a cake, frosted it, washed the kitchen windows, cleaned all the cupboards, scrubbed the kitchen floor, walls and ceiling and even had a bath."

I was about to concede that perhaps he was a better manager than his wife, when he added sheepishly, "When I was making the chocolate frosting, I forgot to turn off the mixer before taking the beaters out of the bowl, so I had to do all the rest." -- Mary I. Costain

Drinking less
I was waiting tables in a noisy lobster restaurant in Maine when a vacationing Southerner stumped me with a drink order. I approached the bartender. "Have you ever heard of a drink called 'Seven Young Blondes'?" I asked. He admitted he'd never heard of it, and grabbed a drink guidebook to look it up. Unable to find the recipe, he then asked me to go back and tell the patron that he'd be happy to make the drink if he could list the ingredients for him. "Sir," I asked the customer, "can you tell me what's in that drink?"

He looked at me like I was crazy. "It's wine," he said, pronouncing his words carefully, "Sauvignon blanc." -- Christie Eckels

Laughter the Best Medicine: A Laugh-Out-Loud Collection of our Funniest Jokes, Quotes, Stories & Cartoons(Reader's Digest)


*Lynspirations
A day without laughter is a day wasted - Charlie Chaplin

For laughter jokes - A New Year's Wish



A New Year's Wish (source)

On New Year's Eve, Marilyn stood up in the local pub and said that it was time to get ready.

At the stroke of midnight, she wanted every husband to be standing next to the one person who made his life worth living.































Well, it was kind of embarrassing.  As the clock struck - the bartender was almost crushed to death.




*Lynspirations
Laugh and the world laughs with you




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