Realization

Two Saturdays ago (12 June 2010) was the first time I went to 313 Somerset (or even orchard) in this year. It was to meet my close friends, WL,YH and OG.

Realizing this, being out of touch with the shopping trends, made me feel that I have moved on from an accompanion to a participator. I enjoyed my time with them and felt really happy.

I think the change was brought on by learning how to drive. It was being in charged and learning to take control.

You learn not to delay but to capture the opportunity. The chance is there for a while, a window period. In order not to miss it, you got to put in all you got.

There is no other choice. If you do not put all you got, you will lose out, immediately! You cannot change lane, will not get to your destination on time, may even get honked!

Yesterday, I met another group of friends, at Plaza Singapura. This time, the feeling was different. I was happy but on a different level. I felt that the 4 of us, CC, GYL, OG and me had really moved on through life on different paths.

All of us met during JC, and all of us were in different classes. Somehow we bonded and yet still were close, despite our differences. CC became a mother and is leading the kind of life I had visualised for myself. While I envy her for taking the path I wanted, I do not think I want to worry about my marriage or kids. GYL had always seems very spiritual and indeed, went on to take an alternative life style. She may intend to further her study in her passion, in what I call hypnosis. OG, whom I thought will have a very blissful marriage, (the three of them had an Okja session, which I refused to participate), married the man whom I felt would be a good husband for her. She has her own financial woes and family problems.

As I recounted my dinner with my Darling No 1, I felt that all of my friends are really diverse. So is everyone in my life. I have always thought that my friends as a group - oh that group from Secondary School, or Junior College, or from my workplace No 1, so on and so forth. But it seems that within the group, there are differences. Sometimes so subtle that only years later, when the differences accumulated, did I detect the differences.

I guess I have never been really a detailed person. I have never thought that being close with someone could bring hurt, I thought that with patience and understanding, you will be able to live with anyone you want or are forced to be. I never thought that you got to really pay attention to each person you come into contact, so that you know everyone's preferences.

The conversation I had with GYL, made me realised that, all the time when we met, we were talking about different things.

Well, it is not too late, since I have never cared at all. I don't think I will ever care, since it was never in my personality.

Somewhere on the way home with GYL and CC, I admitted that I know what I am doing, stems from my "unconsciousness" which I know. I think the exact words I said, were: I know what I am doing.

Well, I never cease to amaze myself, nor others me. Life goes on.